A Family to Be (Saddle Falls) Read online

  “I’m not sure, Em,” Josh said, taking the back way to the diner so she wouldn’t see all the cars that would no doubt be parked in front. “He might close the diner down for a few weeks,” he said absently, while searching for a parking space.

  “Close me down!” Em cried with a scowl. And Josh knew immediately it was the wrong thing to say. He was just trying to make conversation, just trying to keep her occupied, but he hated all this subterfuge, had no experience at it and judging from the look on her face, he sure wasn’t any good at it.

  “Come on, Em,” he said pulling into a parking space behind the diner and shutting off the car. “Let’s go see if he’s here.”

  “But Josh…” Her words trailed off when he shut the door to come around and get her. “Josh,” she began again, the moment she was out of the car. “He’s going to have to be reasonable.”

  “Yes, Em, I’m sure he will be,” Josh said with a frown, leading her around to the front door of the diner and trying to hold up his end of this conversation.

  “I mean, I can’t afford to close down, not even for a few days, let alone a few weeks.”

  “Yes, Em,” he repeated dutifully, taking a deep breath. “I know that.” He glanced at her once, saw the concern on her face, then unlocked the front to the diner. “Go on in, Em,” he said, pocketing the key and taking a step back. This was her day, he thought with a grin. All hers. And more than anything else he wanted her to enjoy it.

  “Sur…prise!” The loud chorus of voices had Em taking a step back in stunned surprise.

  “J-Josh?”

  “I’m right behind you, hon,” he said, slipping an arm around her simply because she looked so startled, he feared she might faint. “Go on in, hon,” he encouraged, giving her a gentle nudge to get her feet moving.

  Wide-eyed, Em clung to Josh for support as her gaze went around the crowded room. Every booth, every table, and even the counter was full. If she wasn’t mistaken every woman in town had gathered here.

  “Oh, Josh.” Tears filled her eyes and Em started to laugh, turning to him. “You knew, Joshua?” she accused, feeling delighted and nearly overwhelmed by emotion. “You knew and didn’t tell me?”

  “Not me,” he said in defense, raising his hands in the air. “I’m no fool. Rebecca and Natalie would have had my head.”

  “That’s right,” Natalie said, moving through the crowd to take Em by the arm. “We warned him—”

  “We warned all the Ryan men,” Rebecca, Jake’s wife finished, taking Em’s other arm with a smile. She was due—actually overdue right now, and could barely walk. “If any one of them slipped they’d be…grounded, and confined to their rooms until they were too old to say another word.” Rebecca grinned at Josh. “Right, bro?”

  “I’m not going to argue with a pregnant lady,” Josh said, in his own defense.

  “Well, that’s a switch,” Em said over her shoulder, smiling broadly at him as Rebecca and Natalie led her to the guest of honor’s table in the middle of the diner. “You’re always arguing with me.”

  Em’s hand went to her mouth when she got to the center of the diner. One of the larger tables for four had been decorated with pastel-colored streamers in various shades of pink and blue. The table itself was covered with an assortment of various-size gaily wrapped packages, each one more festive than the next.

  On the counter, a complete buffet luncheon had been laid out, and behind the counter stood Agnes, who was grinning broadly.

  “Agnes,” Em said with a grin, swiping at her tears as she went to give her a hug. “How… When…” Still overwhelmed, Em shook her head. “How on earth did you manage to do all this without me knowing?”

  “Well, hon, if the truth be told, I didn’t do it myself.” She glanced toward the kitchen door. “Ernie and Sammy pitched in. So did Ms. Wilson from the library, Ms. Powers from the drugstore, and even Mrs. O’Connor helped out a bit. We been working all weekend getting the food ready.”

  “Thanks, Agnes.” Em squeezed her hand, feeling surrounded by love. She made her way slowly around the room, saying hello to everyone.

  “Em?” Natalie called, pulling out a chair. “Come sit down, now.” She stood behind the chair, then glanced at Josh. “She shouldn’t be on her feet too long, Josh,” Natalie whispered with a knowing lift of her brow.

  Josh nodded, then went to Em, steering her gently toward the center of the diner and her chair. “Have a seat, Em,” he said, helping her into it whether she wanted to sit or not. “Do you need to take your shoes off?” he asked with a frown, making her smile.

  The past week, her feet had been swelling so badly once she got her shoes on, she had a hard time getting them off, so she’d taken to wearing open-toed sandals that she could just slip on and off. But today, because she thought she had a business appointment with the fire chief, she’d worn regular shoes.

  “Please?” she said when Josh produced her toeless sandals from somewhere behind his back. He bent and gently removed her shoes, giving her very sore and swollen feet a brief massage, making her sigh in relief. Then he gently lifted her feet to slip her sandals on. “Thanks, Josh.”

  “Well,” he glanced around at all the women, feeling just a tad out of place. “If you don’t need me for anything else, I think I’ll leave.”

  She extended her hand to her. “Josh, would you mind staying?” He’d been through almost every single stage of her pregnancy with her; it was only fair that he be here for this, too.

  “Let’s open presents, first,” Rebecca said with a grin, eliciting a round of applause from the assembled group. With a precision worthy of a military general, Rebecca, Natalie and Agnes set up an assembly line, passing the gaily wrapped presents through it. Natalie unwrapped the presents, then passed it to Rebecca, who jotted down who the present was from while Agnes jotted down what the present was before passing it to Em. With each and every present the oohs and ahhs grew louder and louder.

  “Oh, Josh, look,” Em said, holding up a sleeper set in a beautiful shade of pink. “Isn’t this gorgeous?”

  “It’s so tiny,” he muttered, staring at the garment in horror and reconsidering whether or not he was really up to be a birthing coach.

  Halfway through the gift opening, someone passed Em a glass of pink punch. Thirsty, she began to gulp it down. She glanced up because the room seemed to have gone quiet. The guests, who had crowded around to see the gifts, had separated right down the middle allowing for a newcomer to enter.

  The man stood not two feet away from her, a charming smile on his handsome face. The plastic glass slipped from her lips.

  “Jack.” The word slipped out of her and Em jumped to her feet, sinking right back down when her knees nearly buckled. “Jack,” she whispered again, so stunned she couldn’t speak.

  “Hi, Em.” His glance went to Josh, who was standing behind Em, his hand protectively on her chair. “I guess…I’m a little…late,” he said with a careless smile and a shrug.

  Josh took a step closer, fists clenched, his eyes dark. “That would be the understatement of the year.”

  “Josh, please?”

  Em’s plea stopped him.

  “What are you doing here, Jack?” Em asked quietly, aware that everyone was watching her.

  “That’s my baby you’re carrying. Where else would I be?”

  His baby?

  Josh glanced at Jack, and realized no matter how he personally felt, no matter the circumstances, Jack Bowen was in fact Baby Cakes’s father.

  The reality seemed to drive a sharp-pitched stake through Josh’s heart. Until this moment, he hadn’t known how much he’d come to love Em and the baby, or how much he’d come to think of Baby Cakes as his.

  His baby.

  At the thought of Baby Cakes, Josh’s heart began to ache, knowing that he’d had no right to allow himself to think of her as his, to fall in love with her or to want her.

  Baby Cakes wasn’t his.

  He’d gone through this before, he thoug
ht. He’d already lost one baby. He was absolutely certain he couldn’t stand around and lose yet another one.

  With his heart breaking, Josh knew he couldn’t stay there so he turned on his heel, shaking off Rebecca’s arm as she tried to stop him.

  “Josh. Wait.”

  He ignored her and went through the kitchen and out the back door of the diner.

  Blindly, he got in his car, trying not to think about what was happening back at the diner. He knew how Em felt about Jack, or at least he thought he knew. But then he remembered, too, how Em had felt about family. About her child. About the fairy tale.

  And nothing could change the reality: Josh was not Baby Cakes’s father. Jack Bowen was and always would be.

  However, the man didn’t deserve either of them, Josh thought, turning blindly down another street, then realizing too late he was in front of Em’s house.

  He drove past, not wanting to pull in the driveway, fearing he would see Jack Bowen acting the part of husband and father. With a sigh, Josh shook his head. Jack Bowen didn’t deserve Em or the baby.

  Where had Jack Bowen been during all these months?

  Where had Jack been when Em struggled daily to keep her spirits up, to keep the diner going and everything in her life together?

  Where had he been when she sweated and worked through Lamaze class, learning all the things she needed to know in order to bring Baby Cakes safely into the world?

  Josh didn’t know, but he knew one thing.

  He was the one who had been there for Em. He was the one who had grown to love Baby Cakes and Em, the way they both deserved to be loved—with his whole heart, his whole soul.

  He loved Baby Cakes. And he loved Em.

  The thought, the knowledge came out of nowhere, stunning Josh. He had to pull over to the curb when he realized he was driving down the wrong side of the street.

  Dragging a hand through his hair, he realized he needed to think. No, he thought, he didn’t need to think. He remembered what his grandfather Tommy had once told him about listening to his heart. Well, Josh was listening to his heart now and knew for certain exactly what his heart was telling him.

  “Damn,” he muttered, making a U-turn in the middle of the street and heading back toward Em’s house. He roared up the driveway, then jumped out of the car before it had stopped rocking.

  The door was closed, but instead of using his key, he merely lifted his fist and banged on it.

  “Em,” he called. “Open up, it’s me, Josh.” He banged harder. “Em, come on open up.”

  “Josh? Just a minute, let me get my robe on.” Hastily tying her sash around her, Em pulled open the door.

  “I have to talk to you,” he said, pushing past her and not giving her a chance to speak. His gaze took in the entire room. “Where is he?” he demanded, whirling on her.

  Em frowned, wondering what on earth was wrong with him. “Who?”

  “Jack.” Josh stormed around the room, yanking open closet doors.

  Em tried not to goggle at Josh, but it was hard. This was calm, stable, responsible Josh? Right now, her reliable, calm, sensible Josh was behaving like a raving lunatic. And she was thrilled. If she didn’t know better, she’d swear he was jealous. And nothing could have pleased her more.

  “Would you like to look in the laundry hamper, Josh?” she asked sweetly, making him stop and growl something under his breath. Stifling a laugh, she shrugged. “Hey, I was just trying to be helpful.”

  “If you want to be helpful, Em, you can just tell me where Baby Cakes’s father is?” he all but growled at her again.

  “Baby Cakes’s father?” she said in confusion, trying not to frown at Josh. “Jack? You mean Jack?”

  She’d had enough. She went after him, grabbing him by the back of his shirt and turning him around to stop his rampaging through the house.

  “Joshua Ryan, are you deaf?” she asked, raising her voice just to make a point. She stood on tiptoe and spoke directly into his startled, and very angry face. “I told you before, or rather you told me, Jack Bowen is not Baby Cakes’s father. He was merely a sperm donor, remember?” She laid a hand on his shirt. “Josh, listen to me. Is that why you left the diner? Because you thought Jack had come back to claim Baby Cakes?”

  “Well, didn’t he?” Josh asked, wondering if the man had come back to claim Em as well.

  “Yes,” she admitted, grabbing onto the front of Josh’s shirt so he couldn’t start storming around again. “He did.” She took a deep breath. “But you can’t really believe I’d let him? Accept him back into my life and the baby’s after what he did to me?”

  “Well—”

  “Josh Ryan, I’m surprised at you.” She gave him a poke in the chest. “You know me better than that. Do you honestly think I could just forgive and forget that the man is completely lacking in morals, character, and every other attribute required to be a husband and a father?”

  Confused, Josh stood there looking down at her. “I don’t know, Em,” he admitted honestly, wanting to haul her close and into his arms, to protect her from anything that would ever dare to hurt her. Or Baby Cakes.

  “Josh, it takes a lot more than being a sperm donor to be a father. It takes love, care and kindness. It takes putting your child ahead of yourself, making their needs, wishes and desires first in your life.” She took a deep breath, rubbing her belly and praying the pain she was feeling was just another Braxton-Hicks contraction because she had a feeling this would not be a good time for Baby Cakes to make an appearance. “It takes more to be a father, Josh. A lot more. What it takes, Josh, is what you’ve been to me and to Baby Cakes all these months.” She laid a hand to his chest, overwhelmed with love for him. “Josh, you asked me where Baby Cakes’s father is. Well…” Her voice trailed off and she tugged his hand, dragging him to the mirror on the wall in the foyer. “See that gorgeous guy there,” she said, grinning as she pointed to his frowning image. “There’s Baby Cakes’s father, Josh,” she said softly, her voice catching as he turned to her. “You’ve been her father from the moment you found out about her, Josh.” Em sniffled, pressing a hand to her back, hoping these pains weren’t serious. “Her real father,” she added softly, glancing up at him, her gaze soft with love. “Josh, you are exactly the kind of father every woman—any woman—could want for her child. The kind of father any child could be proud of.”

  “Em—”

  “Josh, I don’t know if you’re ready to hear this or not,” she said, biting her lip partly in pain, partly because of nerves. “But Josh, I—I—love you, and not as a friend, but as so much more. And so does Baby Cakes,” she admitted. “You’ve been everything to me during all these months, Josh, showering me and the baby with love, kindness, attention and affection. You’ve always put our needs ahead of your own, even when it made me mad.” Tears glistened. “That’s what a father is, Josh. That’s what a true partner is, as well. Like it or not, Josh, you are Baby Cakes’s daddy, and—” she added, pressing a hand to her back again “—you’re the man I want to spend my life with. The man I want a family and the fairy tale with. The only man,” she added as his gaze filled with love.

  “Oh, Em.” He grabbed her, held her close, his heart overflowing with relief, with love, for her, and for the baby. “I love you, Em,” he admitted with a long, relieved sigh. “I’m totally, completely in love with you and Baby Cakes.” He drew back to lay a hand to her cheek, praying this time he’d do this right. “Em,” he began slowly. “I—I love you and want to marry you, and have a family with you. I want to make a home with you. I want the whole fairy tale we’ve both always wanted—needed. And not just because of Baby Cakes or because she needs a father, but because I need both of you, Em. Please, say you’ll marry me?”

  Her heart leaped. “Oh Josh.” She lifted a hand to his cheek. “I love you, too. And yes I’ll—” she laughed, then lifted his hand to her belly. “We’ll marry you.”

  “Oh, Em.” He drew her close for a kiss that sealed their love,
their future.

  “Uh…Josh?” she whispered against his lips. “Uh, I think you’d better get my suitcase.” She had to stop to catch her breath as another sharp pain cut through her. “And the car.”

  “Em?” Confused he drew back and looked at her then went pale as the moon. “Oh, my God. The baby? Baby Cakes is coming? Now?”

  She laughed. “Yes, Josh. Now.” She inhaled deeply again. “Right now.”

  “Okay, stay calm, Em,” he said, making her laugh when he left her standing there to dash into her bedroom, grabbing a suitcase with each hand. “Don’t worry, Em,” he said as he hurried toward the door. “Everything’s going to be fine. I’ll call Doc Haggerty. No, I’d better get you to the hospital first.” He darted out the door, threw the suitcases in the trunk, then jumped in the car, started it and roared down the driveway.

  Em sat down on the couch, figuring he’d remember he’d forgotten something—sooner or later.

  It was sooner.

  The door flew open again and he stood there, grinning, looking sheepish and more adorable than she’d ever seen him.

  “Sorry, hon.” He darted across the room to help her to her feet. “Don’t worry, Em, everything’s going to be fine.”

  “I know, Josh.” She grinned up at him. “Finally, I know everything is truly going to be fine.” As she walked out of her house, Em turned and glanced at it, realizing that now, with Baby Cakes and Josh, and all the love they had to share, this house was no longer just a house, but finally, it had truly become her home.

  The home she’d always wanted.

  “I love you, Josh,” she said as he helped her into the car.

  He bent to kiss her. His hands were shaking so bad he wasn’t certain he could drive. “And I love you, too, Em.” For an instant he pressed his brow to hers. “And we’re going to be a family, Em, just like we’ve both always wanted, just like we’ve always dreamed of.” He kissed her again. “I love you, Em.” Grinning, he shut the door, then hurried around to the driver’s side. “Now, let’s go meet our daughter!”

  Epilogue