A Family to Be (Saddle Falls) Read online

  “Let me tell you something, Joshua Ryan.” Eyes blazing, she stood on tiptoe to meet his gaze. “I’ve never taken anything more seriously in my life. I would never ever do anything to jeopardize my baby. Do you understand that? Nothing. This baby means more to me than anything in the entire world.” Unconsciously, she pressed a protective hand to her belly. “If for one moment I thought what I was doing would harm my baby, then I’d stop. Immediately. But I’m not hurting my child, Josh. What I’m doing is trying to secure her future. And mine. To provide her with the kind of home, life and family, the kind of love and attention and affection I never had.” Her voice hitched, humiliating her, and Em averted her gaze, not wanting him to see her tears, or know about the months of vicious emotional upheaval she’d just been through simply because she understood fully the seriousness of her situation.

  And it scared her to death.

  “Oh, Em, come here.” Feeling guilty, Josh reached for her, pulling her trembling body into his arms. She was so close, the warmth of their bodies mingled. He could feel her slender body trembling against him and he wanted to swear again.

  Take care of herself, indeed, he thought with a scowl, tightening his arms around her. Even with her pregnancy, he couldn’t believe how thin and frail she was.

  She’d always been so stubborn and proud, and she’d always tried to be so brave, but he knew her well enough to see beyond the facade she put on for the rest of the world. She was terrified right now, and was loathe to admit it to anyone, wanting to put up a brave, strong front. But he knew her better.

  Josh frowned suddenly, aware that something was distracting him. That heavenly scent of hers—something sweet and smelling slightly of vanilla—was teasing his senses again, making him want to hold her tight in his arms forever and protect her from anything that might hurt her.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his breath tickling her ear as he brushed her hair back from her face as if she were still a wayward twelve-year-old. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I was just trying to be helpful.”

  The soft, honeyed tone of his voice shimmied over her, causing a warmth to unroll in her stomach. Pressed against him, encircled in his arms and the comfort of his warmth, her pulse kicked up, annoying her.

  “Josh,” she said, wiping her eyes and pulling back to look at him, a little off balance by her reaction to him. “Do you think you might try to be a little less helpful?” she asked, making him laugh.

  Sniveling, she took the handkerchief he offered, then wiped her nose and her eyes, trying to figure out what the heck was going on, more rattled by her response to him than anything else.

  This was Josh, her dearest friend, she shouldn’t be responding to him like this. It totally unnerved her.

  “Em, what am I going to do with you?” he asked softly, pressing his head against hers.

  “Well, for starters you can stop following me around before I trip over your feet,” she said, making him laugh again. “As far as I can tell that’s the only real hazard around here right now.”

  “You want me to leave, is that it?” he asked, knowing this battle was lost. At least for the moment. That didn’t mean he intended to give up the fight. And knowing her as well as he did only fueled his determination to do whatever was necessary to make things easier for her. He might not have been able to help or do anything to protect his own defenseless, unborn child, but he sure could do something to protect Em’s.

  Whether she liked it or not!

  “Yep,” she confirmed. “The sooner the better.” She glanced at the prep table filled with lettuce and vegetables that needed chopping. “I’ve got things to do and I’d prefer to do them without carrying on a running argument with you.”

  “Okay,” he said with a sigh. “I’ll go for now. But I’ll be back,” he said with a grin as he headed toward the swinging door. “For lunch.”

  “Thanks for the warning, Josh,” Em said with a laugh. “I’ll be sure to put down all the heavy equipment before then,” she teased.

  “How about a pizza from Angelo’s tonight?” he called over his shoulder.

  “Angelo’s?” Her temper dashed, her interest perked up and she almost swooned. She hadn’t had a pizza from Angelo’s in almost six years. The thought of it now almost made her salivate. “Deal,” she returned with a smile, watching as Josh sailed out the front door, satisfied one problem was solved.

  At least for the moment.

  By the noon lunch hour rush, Em was certain almost everyone in town had come into the diner, demanding to be fed—immediately. She was grateful for all the days in her youth she’d worked in the diner. Once the lunch rush was over she was pretty much home free since the diner closed at three in the afternoon and didn’t reopen until five the next morning.

  “Hey, Em, can you come out here?” Aggie’s voice filtered through the door separating the diner from the kitchen where she was still working chopping vegetables.

  “Be right out,” Em called, wiping her hands on her apron and swinging through the door.

  “Heard the prettiest girl in town was back,” Jake Ryan, Josh’s oldest brother, said as he grabbed Em up and off her feet in a bear hug.

  “Jake, oh Jake.” Laughing, she hugged him back. “I’m so glad to see you.”

  While all the Ryans had hell-raising reputations growing up, none more so than Jake. Like his brothers, he had a fierce sense of pride, a strong sense of right and wrong, and an incredible right hook to back up his temper.

  He’d given more than a few teachers and mothers a few moments of worry during his youth, but for all his hell-raising ways, Jake—like Josh—was one of the kindest, loving men she’d ever known.

  And one of the most gorgeous, Em thought with a wicked grin, realizing that time had only added to Jake’s looks. He was a bit taller than Josh, but not by much. And he had the same sleek black hair as all the other Ryans, but Jake, always the renegade, wore his hair longer than Josh’s more conservative style. He also had the same incredibly gorgeous blue eyes, eyes that saw far more than anyone would ever believe.

  Jake set her down, grinning at her as his gaze went over her. “You’re still pretty as ever, Em,” he said with a shake of his head. He studied her carefully. “And a little bird tells me you’re about to be a mother?”

  “And I hear you’re about to become a father,” she retorted with a grin, watching as his face brightened and his eyes glowed. His joy over the expected birth of his child was so visible, so obvious it brought a pang of yearning to her heart.

  “In just a few months,” he admitted, climbing onto one of the stools at the counter. He shook his head. “Hard to believe, isn’t it Em? We’re going to be parents.” He laughed. “Now that’s a scary thought,” he said with a shudder, eyeing the glass-covered plates behind the counter where the day’s homemade pies and cakes sat. “Got any of your famous pecan pie left?”

  “Got a fresh one in the kitchen, Jake.” Still smiling, Em pushed through the door to the kitchen, cut Jake his pie and returned to pour him a fresh cup of coffee.

  “How’s business?” he asked between bites.

  “Fabulous.” Her eyes twinkled in amusement. “I think part is just curiosity about me being home.”

  He grinned, finishing off his pie. “Yeah, that and these fabulous cakes and pies, Em.” He wiped his mouth on a napkin, then tossed it to the counter. “Listen, Em…” His voice trailed off and his face grew serious. “How you feeling?” he asked. “I mean, being pregnant and all, should you be on your feet all day? Working?” There was such concern in his voice, his eyes, she simply couldn’t get annoyed at him, not when she knew that someone had put him up to this.

  Josh again, she thought with a sigh, trying to curb her annoyance. He’d sent for reinforcements. Now he was rallying his brothers to his cause. Lord, what on earth was she going to do with that man?

  “Now why do I have a feeling your brother sent you in here to talk some sense into me?” she asked, crossing her arms across her che
st and looking at Jake in challenge.

  “Me?” Flustered at being caught, Jake lifted his hands in the air as if to feign innocence, then shook his head. “Not me, Em. I’m innocent. Honest. I just dropped by to see an old friend.”

  Em knew how close the Ryan brothers were, knew how loyal they were to one another. She could stick needles in his nose and Jake would never admit Josh had sent him in to talk some sense into her, as Josh was fond of saying.

  “Yeah, right,” she said with a grin, deciding to let it go. No sense arguing with Jake. It was Josh she had to contend with. “Well, for whatever reason, I am glad you stopped in. And I’m looking forward to meeting your wife.”

  Jake wiggled his brow. “Yeah, you’ll like Rebecca, she’s a pistol.”

  Em laughed, knowing the woman would have to be a pistol in order to catch the infamous Jake Ryan.

  Jake slid off the stool, tossed some bills onto the counter before raising his gaze to hers. “Listen, Em, if you need anything, anything at all, just give a holler, hear? Rebecca and I have been doing some traveling, checking out some tips about Jesse—”

  “Have you learned anything?” she asked quietly, knowing how painful this subject was. Twenty years ago, five-year-old Jesse Ryan, the youngest of the Ryan brothers had been kidnapped from the family’s ranch while in the care of his nanny. He’d never been found. Josh had told Em that Rebecca, a reporter, had written an in-depth article a few months ago about the Ryans and Jesse’s disappearance, and as a result, new tips and clues had been pouring in. Jake and his wife had been checking each and every lead out.

  “No, nothing, at least nothing to speak of,” Jake admitted, rubbing a hand along his stubbled jaw. “But we’re not about to give up. Someone out there has to know something. And I’m determined to find him. But for the next few months, at least until Rebecca has the baby, we’re going to be home, so if you need anything, you just let us know.”

  “I will, Jake.” Smiling, she cleared his plate and cup. “And thanks.”

  “Any time.” He leaned across the counter to give her a big kiss on the cheek. “Take care of yourself, now, Em.”

  “I will, Jake,” she said, watching as he walked toward the door whistling softly.

  With a weary sigh, Em wiped off the counter, then went back into the kitchen to finish preparing the salads for the lunch rush. She was torn between annoyance and gratitude toward Josh for caring about her and her baby.

  As she worked, Em thought about all those afternoons after school and weekends when she was in high school helping out her dad—resentfully at the time because she wanted to be with her friends instead. No, she mentally corrected as she placed the now full bowls of salad on the large round serving tray she’d been using to transfer food from the kitchen to the eating area—at the time what she’d wanted was to be with Josh.

  But that was a long time ago, Em reminded herself as she swung through the door separating the kitchen from the diner. A long time ago, when she was very young, and very foolish, she thought, as she skirted by Ernie and his pail, juggling the tray of salads. Long before she knew how dangerous it was to fall in love with a man.

  “Josh says you shouldn’t be carrying heavy trays.”

  Em almost dropped the tray when she realized Ernie had spoken. Ernie, her dad’s longtime maintenance man, rarely spoke to anyone.

  “Well, I’ll be,” she muttered, still watching Ernie who continued mopping as if nothing unusual had happened.

  Stunned, Em merely stood there for a moment, mouth open, staring after him, realizing whatever Josh had said to the man had to have been important enough for him to break his silence.

  Josh again, Em thought with a scowl. Now he was talking about her to her employees beyond her back! Lord, what on earth was she going to do with that man?

  “You’ll be, what, Em?”

  Her head whipped around. “You!” Annoyed all over again, Em glared at Josh and for the second time bobbled the large tray. She tried not to notice the way the custom-tailored gray pinstriped suit he wore fit him like a glove, emphasizing the broad width of his shoulders, his chest; or the yellow-and-gray paisley tie that only made his eyes seem wider, bluer. The white shirt was a stark contrast to the deep bronze of his tan, only making him look sinfully handsome, only annoying her further for noticing.

  “Whoa, there, Em,” he said, reaching out to steady her bobbling tray. “Here, let me take that for you.” He started to reach for it, but she held on tight.

  “Thank you, but I don’t need any help,” she said stiffly, pride preventing her from letting him take it from her. She held the tray tighter, her hands on one side, his on the other.

  “Em, don’t be silly. I’ll take it. You shouldn’t be carrying heavy things anyway.”

  “I’m not being silly,” she snapped, unwilling to release her side of the tray and not caring that every eye in the diner was on her. This was a matter of pride. “And I’ll carry anything I want,” she said stubbornly, knowing she was being ridiculous.

  He tightened his grip.

  So did she.

  “Joshua Ryan, I’m perfectly capable of carrying a tray, and doing anything else I feel like doing.” Taking a step closer to him until she bumped the toes of his Italian loafers with the toes of her tennis shoes, Em glared up at him. “And if you say one word, one little syllable about my condition…I’m going to bop you with this tray!” she whispered fiercely.

  “Okay, Em, whatever you say.” Josh released the tray, overbalancing it on Em’s side. It tilted backward, salad bowls shifted, then slid off the back of the tray, tumbling end over end, spraying Ernie’s clean floor with lettuce, carrot sticks, radishes and assorted other vegetables and greens she’d just spent hours chopping.

  Em merely stood there, mouth open gaping at the mess accumulating on the floor. She turned for a moment to glare at Josh, aware that everyone in the diner was staring at her.

  “Damnation,” she muttered, sliding the tray onto the nearest empty table. She bent to begin cleaning up the mess before someone fell.

  “Em, get up.” Josh reached for her elbow. “You shouldn’t be doing that. I’ll clean that up.”

  Near tears, she shook his hand off, embarrassed that she’d let her emotions overrule her common sense. What on earth was wrong with her? She let her pride and her stubbornness get the best of her, and knew that the story of her tug-of-war with Josh would be all over town and then back by morning. Just what she needed, more gossip on top of everything else.

  “I’ll do it,” she insisted firmly, waiting until the toes of Josh’s Italian shoes were out of sight before continuing her clean up.

  She felt a hand on her back and turned to see Ernie standing over her. A large broom and dustpan had replaced his mop and pail. With a grateful smile, Em wiped her hands on her apron and took Ernie’s outstretched hand, standing up.

  “Thanks, Ernie,” she said softly, giving him a grateful pat on the shoulder. She turned to Josh. It was time to put a stop to this nonsense right now. “Can we talk for a minute?”

  Em wiped her hands on her apron again, wishing she could push on her back to work out a kink, but knowing if she did, Josh would probably be on the phone to the hospital.

  “Sure.” Josh grabbed her hand. “Let’s go outside.” He frowned suddenly. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were blazing. “You can take a break can’t you?”

  “Since I’m the boss, I imagine I can.” Still, she cast an eye out for Agnes, and saw the older woman nod her head in approval as she refilled a customer’s coffee cup. With her hand still in Josh’s, Em’s chin lifted in determination as she let him lead her out the front door into the warm noonday sun, determined once and for all to set Joshua Ryan straight!

  Chapter Four

  Em gave a quick glance up and down Main Street to make sure that she and Josh weren’t about to be seen or heard. She wasn’t up to dealing with any further gossip about them on top of everything else.

  Her feet were hur
ting and her back ached, but she’d die before she admitted any such thing to him. With a soft sigh, Em carefully leaned against the building, hoping to take some weight off her feet, nearly sagging in relief as her body aches immediately eased a bit.

  After a full week of working, she was tired and sore, but she felt absolutely wonderful knowing she was accomplishing her objective. She was making her own way, securing a future for herself and her baby, without anyone’s help. She was certain in the days and weeks and months ahead, things would only get better.

  “How are you doing?” Josh finally asked, studying her face carefully.

  “Fine, Josh, just fine.” Her words were clipped as she worked to get her temper under control.

  Cocking his head, he watched her. A slow grin tilted his lips and he lifted a finger to rub his brow. “Ah, why do I have the feeling you’re not exactly happy with me?”

  “Josh, you had no right to talk to Ernie,” she burst out. “No right at all. Nor should you have sent Jake in to try to ‘talk some sense’ into me,” she stated, repeating his own words to him and watching him flush a bit. Fists clenched, Em gave up trying to control her temper. “Look, I know you’re just trying to help, but you have to understand, I don’t need your help. What you did undermined my authority and made me look foolish. You also embarrassed me, Josh, and made it look like I’m not mature enough or sensible enough to take care of myself or my child.”

  That was the crux of it, she decided, the real point that had upset her so. The realization hadn’t hit her until now, and now it had hot tears filling her eyes.

  “Em, I’m sorry.” Alarmed by her tears, Josh took a step closer. “I never meant to… I didn’t intend to… I just thought—”

  “Josh.” She laid a hand on his arm, intent on getting him to listen to her once and for all, to understand why she was doing what she was doing. “Listen to me. I didn’t come home merely to aggravate you—”

  “I know that, Em—” She held up her hand, unwilling to let this go.